I would go back to where my husband and I had lived, weekend after weekend (he was still living there), and I would slowly sift through things, packing up what I had accumulated over 38 years of marriage. Then I would drive away and totally lose it and I would cry tears that came out from deep in my soul because the hurt was so bad. I would get a half mile down the road and God would touch me and the joy of the Lord would hit me and I would laugh the rest of the time going back to my girlfriends.
Sometimes I would barely be able to drive I would be laughing so hard. I grew up feeling like I was bad and that there was something wrong with me. I always felt that if someone really got to know me they wouldn’t like me. I couldn’t let go of the past mistakes and hurts that had happened while I was growing up. I continued to seek God, to study his word and to seek his peace and purpose in my life. A few months ago I realized that I no longed felt bad anymore. I finally felt loved and cherished and I knew in my heart that nothing would ever separate me from the love of God, that God would always love me even though I am far from perfect and make mistakes. HE LOVES ME THE WAY I AM, IMPERFECT BUT SEEKING HIM.
My divorce was final Sept 17th and I was hurting so bad I didn’t think I could get through it. God took me through the day with supernatural strength and peace. Two weeks later He showed me my new home. I saw it on Saturday, signed an offer Sunday, negotiated the price Monday and signed a contract on it Tuesday. When God moves, hang on. My head was spinning and my insides were shaking. I was stepping totally out of my comfort zone. I was 63 years old and had never lived alone. I had been in love with my husband for 48 years and married for 38 years. I didn’t know how I was going to afford it but God had it all planned.
Let’s say it’s University of Southern California playing UCLA Bruins and you have these giant signs, “Mom, we love you!”. And we play “Mother, may I?” not “Daddy, may I?” growing up.